Today’s Forecast

Jack Scott of the BBC: the James Bond of weathermen

Today’s forecast calls for schvitzing with the possibility of afternoon heat rash.

Tonight there is a chance of scattered thunderstorms. Again. Look, it probably won’t happen but we have to say it, alright?

The smell of urine in Manhattan should be taking on a vinaigrette quality by tomorrow morning. Yum!

The city has begun its “pools for subway rats” program and so far it’s been a success.

Later on in the week, we should be seeing some relief from the heat wave, followed by another heatwave.

Oh and by the way, Con Ed cut the voltage by 15% just in time for your staycation. Myself and the rest of the city’s “press corps” will be staying at the mayor’s house in the Bahamas having sex with underage prostitutes. Have fun, suckers! Oh shit, did I just say that out loud?

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1 Comment

Filed under Kvetch

One response to “Today’s Forecast

  1. Colleen

    I’ve always wanted a “slums of India” themed staycation. Sounds like the forecast will be perfect to accomodate my desire.

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